If you'll excuse me, I must go and begin my training as a ninja crime fighter, now.
Edit: And when I come back from training as a ninja, I'm going to kill everyone at soulbonding. Ultra, you have now convinced me to never read anything, for fear that it will be soulbonding. Srsly.
"In recent news, the Senate Judicial Committee convened to discuss further options for the- OH lol just kidding, so i wuz liek talking 2 Legolas, and he said i wuz hawt, but i need 2 know iz it okay to lol sleep with ur soulbond? And Aragorn and Han Solo said they wanted 2, so i wuz like okay, threesome!
iz this okay, becuz im 387 pounds of pure, revolting sexlessness and i can be punished by the death penalty in alabama for even suggesting that human beings erotically engage with me and i wuz like soooooo lonely so i need 2 know if i can sleep with my SB and how? thanx!!"
You ever just wanna grab people by the necks, and wrench their neckskin away until their blood squirts forth while they gurgle and attempt to make sense of their own grotesquerie of an existence before their eyes slowly become faded and dusty as they pass on into irrelevance, JUST BECAUSE THEY'RE COMPLETELY FUCKING RETARDED AND STUPID PEOPLE SHOULD HAVE NO RIGHT TO LIVE, EVER? I do. Violence - the bestest soulbond ever.