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A non-musical ode-thingy to a good friend. - The Second Greatest Failure of Omnipotence
2007-01-20 10:58 pm
A non-musical ode-thingy to a good friend.

Alright, guys, lemme be straight with you all. I'm a solipsist, through and through. 9 times out of 10, I'll post emoness not for your attention, but to remind myself later that I do, in fact, still retain some aspect of my humanity that allows me to feel. In the rare occasions that I'll draw something, and the even rarer occasions that I post it here, it's not to get an art critique or to get support from you'se guys, it's as a reminder later on down the road that I did draw at one time, and I can do it again. I'll post a degenerate smörgåsbord of metacomplex verbiage not because I think you all actually enjoy sifting through all of the bullshit, but because I like to know that I can use these words with reckless abandon and with little thought directed towards a post's legibility. I am, without a doubt, selfish and egocentric, and the comments I receive from all of you compound this, and reinforce my sinful pride.

Since the creation of this journal, there has been one person who has tolerated this asinine behavior out of me and still stuck around. When I first created it in the form of bluepheonix, I had three people I knew from some other internet site (which was itself filled with paradoxically large egos) join on right away, and who promptly began to tease me for misspelling "phoenix" since I was a vicious destroyer of those who couldn't spell my namesake in the past. Eventually I just started anew with this journal, phoenix_blade, because with the typo even I couldn't take myself seriously.

The three people who joined on to start out with were catwoman980, grete, and ultra_lilac. Sure, I eventually dragged the sage Ms. clockworkari and the witty Ms. mighty_muggette into the fold. Muggy even had her sheep icon way back then (do you remember when?). Later still came dee255, shodan43893, and oralaki (before he became e-famous, by-the-by), and that_cad too, though back then he still went by the name of "narcissisme." It was around that time that whoopseedaisy and matrixx and the rest of my f-list began to hop on board, and after I joined that little brutal_honesty community the number of my stalkers multiplied. By comparison, the hanger-ons I've somehow managed to earn from youcantwrite are newbies.

However, in the beginning there were only the three. Eventually I became disinterested in the large amount of hubbub going on over at Ms. Cat's LJ - big outtings were never much my bag o' chips, and to be honest with all the inside jokes and whatnot that went down I just kinda felt like I was on the outside looking in. No fun there, so I bid her adieu. grete eventually stopped writing in her journal, which was a shame - finally she deleted it, and I'm sad to say I have no idea what she's doing now with her life.

Then you come to Ms. ultra_lilac. If there's one thing you must know about the woman, it's that her kooky British wit far surpasses anything you mere mortals are capable of. Whether she was talking about job interviews that degenerated into a discussion about werewolf clip art, or describing the naked Apocalypse that ensues when you do something as simple as dying your hair, every last bit of her journal was a (hilarious) piece of heaven. Hell, it was reading her journal that actually got me interested in making mine better than the piece of shit it was. Really, without her journal feeding me inspiration, this little ditty I write in every now and then would be nothing more than one of the thousands of journals describing in excruciatingly boring detail the everyday happenings of my extraordinarily dull life. (As opposed to what it is now - one of the thousands of journals that makes excruciating pretenses of faux literary prowess while it languishes in obscurity in a small corner of the vast, empty sea of the internet.)

Ms. Ultra was, in effect, my first interwebs friend in the proper sense of the statement, and even still through all of my whinging diatribes she sticks by my side, and I by hers. Since the beginning, she's given me comfort for the harsh times I spent at the end of my tenure in my father's house, and witty commentary for the times when my own journal's entertainment value was severely lacking. In that time, I've witnessed her go through several tumultuous relationships, and times of abject loneliness where I was powerless to help. Thick and thin, good and bad, you get the idea.

Today, however, is a very special day for her. Today is the day that Ms. Ultra becomes Mrs. Ultra by way of the man she loves, a gentleman by the name of mgrasso who somehow managed to sneak by her impenetrable aura of awesome.

So, today my journal will not be for self-effacing. Today, my journal will be devoted to Jenny, and I will congratulate this dear woman for taking her first step forward in the rest of a life filled with contentment, joy, and the love of her life which she has found at last.

Live long and be happy, Jen. You'll have an immature, pseudobrilliant psycho rooting you on wherever life may take ya', even if it is only in spirit (and in billions of meaningless 1s and 0s through an arcane, complicated electronic medium).

Current Mood: happy happy
Current Music: Korn -- "Trash"

17CommentReplyShare


phoenix_blade
phoenix_blade
Of the ill-washed winds, light burns.
2007-01-21 06:21 pm (UTC)

Hey, now. Just because I remember your first LJ name doesn't mean I'm a nice guy, k?


ReplyThread Parent
stobors
stobors
stobors
2007-01-21 04:22 pm (UTC)

Well, I for one, wish her happiness too...8)

Marriage is a big step...


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phoenix_blade
phoenix_blade
Of the ill-washed winds, light burns.
2007-01-21 06:23 pm (UTC)

A scary step, now that I think of it...that poor, poor mgrasso. :(

Ultra's gonna kill me for this.


ReplyThread Parent
stobors
stobors
stobors
2007-01-22 06:46 pm (UTC)

You're preaching to the choir...


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ultra_lilac
ultra_lilac
The Mother Of The Dog Messiah
2007-01-22 10:47 pm (UTC)

I'll hit you with my rolling pin! Such is my understanding of wifely duties.


ReplyThread Parent
phoenix_blade
phoenix_blade
Of the ill-washed winds, light burns.
2007-01-23 04:37 am (UTC)

It appears that the dojo of wife craftery has trained you well, grasshoppa. WE BATTLE!


ReplyThread Parent
space_goblin
space_goblin
space_goblin
2007-01-22 03:48 am (UTC)

Thanks very much on Ultras behalf . She's a bit preoccupied with all the things that are going on , but I'll let her know about your post . I'm sure she'll be very touched.


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phoenix_blade
phoenix_blade
Of the ill-washed winds, light burns.
2007-01-22 04:47 pm (UTC)

Thanks much, Mr. Goblin sir.

How goes the comics? I rarely ever see you update anymore, and it makes me sob like a child that's just been sucker punched by a cyborg gorilla.


ReplyThread Parent
ultra_lilac
ultra_lilac
The Mother Of The Dog Messiah
2007-01-22 10:45 pm (UTC)


Thank you so much, you're absolutely AWESOME! (but you know that anyway).
That is so touching and so kind. Thank you for thinking of us and for being my friend for so long.
Most people would have given up after the Chuckle brothers fanfic ;-)


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phoenix_blade
phoenix_blade
Of the ill-washed winds, light burns.
2007-01-23 04:42 am (UTC)

To preserve our friendship, I skipped anything of yours involving "Chuckle brothers" and "fanfic" in the same post.

...Actually, to tell you the truth, the mental scarring from that post has destroyed my sanity, so I follow you around as a tortured marionette does its cruel master, wishing and hoping with the empty shards of my soul that you'll one day return my humanity to me. You've so totally got the wife thing down. :P


ReplyThread Parent
cxtxc
cxtxc
~M
2007-01-29 02:28 am (UTC)

Pointless entry without my name in the mix.
WILL NOT READ.


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phoenix_blade
phoenix_blade
Of the ill-washed winds, light burns.
2007-01-29 07:03 am (UTC)

I would've put you in, but you keep changing names so often it would have become obsolete in three days or less, Ms. cxtxc.

To make up for this oversight, I have sent my little sister's entire collection of Cabbage Patch Kids and stuffed animals to you so that you may get a restful night's sleep under their watchful eyes.


ReplyThread Parent
cxtxc
cxtxc
~M
2007-01-31 01:29 am (UTC)

Awz, you make my vagina tingle.


ReplyThread Parent
phoenix_blade
phoenix_blade
Of the ill-washed winds, light burns.
2007-01-31 10:18 am (UTC)

That's kind of a low blow. I never called you a VD before. =(


ReplyThread Parent

phoenix_blade
phoenix_blade
Of the ill-washed winds, light burns.
2007-02-26 12:18 pm (UTC)

I haven't drawn anything for months.


ReplyThread Parent
meg_amber
meg_amber
2007-05-05 10:55 am (UTC)

I know this is pathetic, but I do not know your email or your phone number (not that it matters since I never know when you are asleep anyways) and Cris is asleep so this is my last option.

I have an important favor to ask of you and if you have any of those brotherly feelings of honor and duty, you would probably viciously enjoy it. Some idiot boy here at college whom I have repeatedly turned down in the past will not give up. He is the kid that one of his friends insisted to Liz that I was dating when I only see him at mealtimes. However, he is becoming a thorn in my side and displaying stalkerish tendencies which he admitted on his own xanga blog that he got solely so he could find me after I turned him down several times. How he found it is beyond me since nobody here knows about it and I cannot even find it using various search methods. He worships the ground I walk on, my black belt is useless since he would probably enjoy it.

Cutting the boy down with words is out of the question because he is the soft sweet quiet one of the group, so I am not allowed to be a total bitch plus I am close friends with his close friends so it just creates bad vibes all around. He's always sitting close to me at dinner and never stops talking to me even though I am clearly ignoring him and trying to talk to someone else. He will not go away even though I have been turning him down since before January.

I have never had any problems handling men so I am rather humiliated asking for your help, but since you or Dad or cousin Bobby aren't anywhere near to give him a death glare, this is all I have left. Besides I'm already fantasizing about various takedowns and pressure points that would cause the most pain and acting on them would probably lead to expulsion, so you would be contributing to keeping me in school.

So, please call me whenever you get a chance; I will be awake. Wow, I feel so weak asking you to terrify a guy for me, but I have not been this angry in years. Oh well. I suppose it's a compliment to your linguistic abilities to ask for your intervention.

By the way, thanks for sullying my childhood memories with the stuffed animals comment. It was your other sister who had the cabbage patch dolls though.


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